Return to Brokeback Mountain
I've been thinking a little more about the discomfort that some might feel regarding the gay love scene in Brokeback. I don't knock anyone for their discomfort or suggest that they're wrong or bad for it. I do think that it's worth noting the contrast between our discomfort with a gay love scene and our apparent lack of discomfort with the tremendous amounts of violence in so many movies. In Syriana, one of the characters gets his fingernails pulled out. In Reservoir Dogs, a character has his ear cut off. I'm sure we can all come up with our favorite example.The point is that we don't blink when it comes to violence in films, but we squirm when it comes to gay love in a film.
I can tell you that there is a recent movie that I avoided specifically because of the excess violence- Kill Bill. Because of the way it was described to me, I opted to stay away.
posted by Kinder Gentler Little Man @ 8:09 PM
1 Comments:
Don't feel like U need to excuse yourself, A. You went in with an open mind and are considering the experience. That's good from all angles.
I always look at "gay sex" this way: what I do in my bedroom is between me and the husband, what you do is between you & your wife, partner, whoever. I don't interview my hetero friends and decide to be friends based on their sex life, so why would I be concerned about gay friends? There are lots of hetero acts I would not commit, and I am no fridgid girl. So, maybe it comes down to what we're comfortable with in bed w/ our partner. How many heteros practice S&M, threesomes or swapping? I don't have to agree or participate if I find those acts offensive or uncomfortable.
They show those acts in movies an no one blinks (save for Pat & Dobson).
Most of the sexual acts gay couple "commit" are "commited" by heteros.
I guess what terrifies people is facing the knowledge that a lot of "hetero" folks are in "normal" relationships hiding from who they are. Happened to my moms close friend- married for years, 7 kids, upteen grandkids, and BAM, he leaves for a 20 something GUY. He's happier than ever, she has yet to recover. It's just another love story, it just doesn't fit the social shoe.
Like racisim or sexism, a movie like this makes us face our own deep seeded prejudice. We all have some hidden within and it hurts to find that inkling of hate, disgust, disapproval. But acknowledging it is the first step to addressing and removing it.
Honestly, when did we ever have to face a prejudice about ear-cutting-off? Never. It's just good icky violence. Gay love slaps fear, bigotry and misunderstanding in the face. We are forced to view, find compassion w/ the individuals, accept reality. Growth comes from those places.
30, 20, maybe even ten years ago, a movie w/ a black and white couple would have stirred the same reaction.
You are right, our generation and those after us are losing the gay-fobic attitude. It's a timely movie, perfect for self-evaluation and good discussion. Gay may one day mean merry again.
Time. All in due time.
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