Nasty Little Man

The GOP becomes even more laughably irrelevant

The latest dictum (so to speak) from the other world known as Republican Land is this: American citizens under the age of 30 should be discouraged from having sex:

the latest twist in the Abstinence Education Program from Bush's increasingly laughable Department of Health and Human Services, a $50 million slice of embarrassing government detritus that is now actually encouraging all states to tell their single, youngish residents that they should -- how to put this so you don't shoot coffee through your nose? -- that everyone should avoid sex entirely, until they turn 30.

See? See your reaction? You are like: No way. You are like: Is the United States government really saying that? You are like: Laughter, a smirk, maybe a shrug and a sigh and a sad shake of the head and another glass of wine because, you know, what the hell is wrong with these people?

Maybe you think I am making this up. Maybe you think that our fair government, as sad and lost and nipple-terrified as it is, can't seriously be suggesting that, to avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancy and unchecked misery in their obviously sad and irresponsible little lives, single people under 30 should not have sex, like, ever. And maybe not even then.

You would, of course, be wrong.

It's for real. It's an actual HHS dictum and there are people who actually believe it should be adhered to, and I'm right now guessing you broke this rule this very morning and if you didn't you really, really wanted to, and if you're over 30 and/or married chances are you are sitting there right now wishing you were still single and/or under 30 just one more time just so you could squishily, juicily break that rule again, oh my God yes please. Just a guess.

One can only hope that this is, as once put by Michael Moore, the final wail of a dying animal. These people are laughable, hopelessly irrelevant, and with no grounding in reality. Then again, reality doesn't concern them in other arenas (Iraq, evolution, the Constitution), so it's no shock that they are hilariously out of touch. As a newspaper columnist once said to me, it's been a tough couple of years for those of us who base our views on reality.

posted by Kinder Gentler Little Man @ 4:15 PM